May 6, 2008
Update
In case anyone still drops by this blog, you’ve probably realized that I don’t blog here anymore. If you wish to keep up-to-date on the goings on of our very uninteresting life, checkout my myspace blog.
See you there!
December 18, 2007
Just trying to help
Even if you turn your head in a mirrored elevator, people can still see you PICKING YOUR NOSE!
That’s all.
December 4, 2007
That’s it, we’re firing the Tooth Fairy
Oh my goodness. I have never in my life failed at something so miserably as I have at being the Tooth Fairy. Every single tooth Kevin has lost, I have forgotten about it until the next morning, and I had to sneak his money under the pillow just minutes before he woke up. Well, this morning was a close call. Kevin came running out into the living room, “Hey! The Tooth Fairy forgot to come!” I went into panic mode. I snuck a dollar out of Jr’s wallet and I told Kevin that we needed to check under his pillow one more time. And what do you know? There was a dollar there! But Kevin was a bit smarter than that. He then asked me, “Well how come she didn’t take my tooth?? The Tooth Fairy is supposed to take the tooth and leave money!” Since the tooth was in one of those school tooth necklaces, I told him that the TF just thought it was a necklace. She knew he had lost a tooth, that’s why she left a dollar, but she didn’t want to take his necklace!! So that seemed to work this time. Whew!
November 29, 2007
Things I have learned this afternoon
As I sat in my meeting this afternoon, I made the following observations:
1. I should have scrounged up a laptop to clack-clack on and ignore the meeting coordinator.
2. I should have brought a cell phone so it could ring incessantly and interrupt the meeting.
3. I really should know more about this company. As I sat and listened to people talking around me, I realized how little I really know. I answered my 3 questions at the beginning of the meeting and I sat and listened for a very LOOOOOONG hour to stuff that does not pertain to me. I felt bad for the treasury rep that was there, because she had even less to offer to the meeting than I did! I’m really not even sure why she was there.
On a different note, we close on our refinance tomorrow at 3:30. This has been as complicated as flat out buying a house. Keep your fingers crossed that we actually close and this all works out. The best part would be not having a house payment for December. Yay for Christmas shopping!
I’m really looking forward to this weekend. We’re having a girl’s night to celebrate my birthday, Melanie R’s, Cristin’s, Lindsie’s and Beth’s. We’re going out to Karen’s to hang out and drink. I’m so excited!
And only 20 days till my vacation starts!!!
November 18, 2007
Dear Santa
I was all set to write about my fascinating weekend of cleaning house. Cuz I just know you’re all dying to hear about that. We have cleaned this house from top to bottom to get ready for the appraiser coming tomorrow. No, we’re not selling the house, we’re just trying to refinance. So we want the house to look as super duper nice as possible so the house will appraise for as high as possible. But look at me, I’m going on about cleaning house. I told you it was boring. Anyway, I saw Shanna’s bulletin, and I had to repost this as soon as I saw it!
Body: Dear Santa,
I’ve been a good mom all year. I’ve fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor’s office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son’s red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I’ll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I’d like a pair of legs that don’t ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don’t hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I’d also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you’re hauling big ticket items this year I’d like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn’t broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, “Yes, Mommy” to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don’t fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting “Don’t eat in the living room” and “Take your hands off your brother,” because my voice seems to be just out of my children’s hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it’s too late to find any of these products, I’d settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don’t mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don’t catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don’t eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,
MOM…
P.S. One more thing…you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
November 12, 2007
I want that!
That is all I’ve heard from the boys these past few days. I swear, if I had a penny for each time a commercial came on and I heard, “I want that!”….I would have….uh, a lot of pennies.
I have several department store catalogs, including Wal-Mart and Toys R Us which I have gone through and circled things I want to get the boys for Christmas. Kevin and Garrett got a hold of these catalogs and wrote their initials next to everything they thought they needed. Which was every single thing in the catalog. Even the girly stuff!
Anyway, I’m starting to get a case of “I want that!”. Jr mentioned at lunch today that he had no idea what to get me for Christmas. I said I wanted an iPhone and a Coach purse.
That’s not asking too much, is it?
November 10, 2007
My poor Garrett
So Jr was gone today to Oklahoma, and Kevin was at his dad’s. So it was just me and Garrett. Our day started around 7:15, when Garrett woke up. First thing he wanted to do was go outside. I managed to stall him till about 8, and we went outside to play. We were out there ALL DAY. We came in around 11 for lunch, and 1 to “rest a little bit”, in Garrett’s words. While we were inside for lunch, we heard the kids next door outside. So of course, Garrett had to run outside and see if Emily was out there. He came running inside, crying his eyes out. “Mommy! Emily is gone! She just left!” He was devasted.
Well they eventually came home, so they have been playing outside since around 2 or 3. We just came inside and it’s 7:00 now. During this time, he chalked, jumped rope and played frisbee.
I write this entry because of the frisbee time. Garrett and I were having a great time throwing it back and forth. Until I threw the frisbee and it hit him in the nose. Not just a little tap. I gave my baby the worst bloody nose I have ever seen.
(Granted, I haven’t seen that many bloody noses in my life, so my basis of comparison is pretty limited.)
(And who knew a nose could spout out so much blood?)
(And it didn’t so much spout and spurt as it did pour.)
I kid you not, there was a river of blood from the neighbor’s front porch, to the boy’s bathroom sink.
SO. MUCH. BLOOD.
As soon as it happened, I looked at Amy (the neighbor mom) and mouthed, “I don’t know what to do!” Thank goodness she was there, else I would have panicked. When Garrett was sitting on his sink, I was trying to keep him from looking in the mirror, because he was freaking out enough as it was. His clothes were covered, and he even had blood all in his mouth!
The worst part about it……while laying down on the couch with his head propped back, he looks at me, tears streaming down his face and says, “Mommy, I can’t believe you hurted me so bad.”
*Sniff, sniff*
But he’s a trooper. I had to force him to lay down for 5 minutes (maybe a little bit longer) till he stopped bleeding, because he was begging to go back outside.
My poor Garrett. Let’s hope tomorrow is better. I think my bad luck has rubbed off on him. Wait a minute, I’m the one that threw the frisbee and gave my kid a bloody nose.
A little bit of everything
So I was going to first post about my fall from grace that happened to me on Tuesday.
Then I was going to blog about Kevin’s field trip yesterday. But I don’t have pictures. What kind of mom chaperone’s her kid’s field trip and doesn’t take a camera? This mom, obviously. I even forgot to pack my own lunch. Hey, give me a break. I remembered my kid and his lunch. So there. 
Then I was all set to talk about something else interesting. Maybe something along the lines of the kick ass supper I cooked tonight.
Hmmm…so where do I start?
How about the beginning? So Tuesday afternoon, I’m walking downstairs to eat lunch with work girlfriends. Somehow or another, the hem of my pants got caught in my shoe, and I hit the ground. Well not so much hit, as I did tumble, roll and bounce my way down about 5 or 6 steps. In the process, I somehow or another bruised the TOP of my foot (yes, the top), and twisted my arm in the railing. And believe it or not, the first thing I thought was when I got up was, “Oh my god. I’m so glad no one saw that.” Because I cannot fall gracefully. I really don’t do anything gracefully for that matter. And falling down the stairs certainly isn’t something that I would want anyone to see me do.
Fast forward several hours; it’s the middle of the night and I have to go to the bathroom. I don’t bother turning on the light. Or even opening my eyes, for that matter. My reluctance to observe my surroundings at 1:00 in the morning earned me a cut and a bruise on my forehead, right at the hairline. While bending over to sit, I didn’t see the shower door open, and pointed right at my head. Which I would have seen had I opened my eyes. Damn, that hurt.
I somehow or another ran into a staircase at the museum yesterday, and I have a nice sized bruise on my upper thigh. Seriously. What is wrong with me? I’ve been uber-clumsy lately.
And I cooked supper tonight. Yes. You read that right. COOKED. No, I didn’t stop by the Bell or Popeye’s. I combined ingredients in a skillet, cooked them, and baked them. Hell, I even peeled potatoes and made creamed potatoes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???????????????//
November 5, 2007
Hostile Takeover
The following was written by Jr, and I’m sharing it with you now:
This is a hostile takeover, do not be concerned, it is only temporary. I would start my own blog except that I am too lazy to keep up with and and hey, let’s face it, how interesting is my life anyway.
So, what is the occasion that has forced this impromptu takeover? The Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. My dad called me a few days ago and asked if I wanted to go to the race with him. Having only been to a Busch race one time, of course I was willing to go to a Nextel Cup race. So we make our plans and dad picked me up bright and early at 6:15 in the AM and we were on our way expecting to spend 6 hours in traffic. An hour and a half later, we are parked and outside the race track, the start time was 2:30. BTW I suppose that in the spirit of things I would like to thank my Coca Cola, Gap shirt, Dallas Stars, Dr. Martin shoe outfit for providing me with Quality attire in preparation for this race. I would also like to thank Hanes boxer briefs for their wonderful support and the American Eagle jeans for completing my package. Now that is out of the way let me provide the necessary disclaimers:
1. I am a enthusiastic sporting even watcher and will sometimes even yell at the TV, yeah I know they can’t hear me, but it makes me feel better okay.
2. I fully appreciate the fact that the NASCAR race is the only sport where at one event you have 42 different teams playing against each other at the same time, and in doing so, you have 250,000 fans splitting up their allegiances and still have relatively little trouble between the fans themselves.
3. I fully believe that stock car racing has gone through a huge social transition that has gone as far as to be made up of a largely respectable middle class fanbase. That is to say that of the people I saw, only about 15% were rednecks.
Okay, all that being said I’ll continue. A brief outline of the situation. The racetrack is approx 1.5 miles long, give .5 miles per straightaway, and .25 miles on the ends. In other words a pretty big place. In front of the gates there are a profusion of sponsors of the race with trailers that are all trying to get your attention. The end result was a cacaphonous barrage that ran the entire length of the front gate straightaway area, so say again, approx 1/2 a mile of these things. So, since we arrived 6 hours early we thought we would walk the trailers. The first thing I noticed, outside of the assault on my ears, was the huge number of hot chicks there, not just the ones working the Hooters trailer either, but the fans. My goodness it has to be the largest concentration of hotness that I have ever seen in my life. Thank goodness I have a beautiful wife of my own or I might have found myself in a port a potty with some chick from Oklahoma. But I digress. Let’s be honest, when you think women in NASCAR, you think of little halter tops on big women with a tooth to mouth ratio (TMR) of approx 7. I was quite shocked.
Let me also reiterate that the vast majority of the people there were middle class respectables and only a fraction were the redicu-redneck. However, it was that small fraction that made it worth going to all by itself. It was like the state fair if it were held in Tyler.
The first thing I noticed about the redicu-redneck was that, at 8:30 AM…again AM, they were to be seen with the discount beer of their choice fitted with a koozie picked up that morning from one of the many trailers all too willing to ask your soul in return for said koozie.
Once the race started I noticed one guy, complete with his own Natural Light in a Nationwide koozie, who had it going on. From his shoulders slightly humped forward in an almost aggressive posture, to his Dale Earnhardt sr trademark sunglasses, to the Mossy Oak number 8 shirt on his back, and yes, a poor attempt at the infamous Dale sr. stache. He was sitting in front of me with the odd Mexican nascar fan who had a 4 shirt on so I couldn’t help but notice the guy right. It was soon realized that they were friends and I disappointedly went back to the race. I couldn’t help but watch the guy when I noticed that not once, not occasionally, but everytime his driver passed by, he would take his right hand, extend his pointer finger while maintaining a curled position on the remaining finger and extending his thumb so that it looked like an ‘L’, only backwards and horizontal, and would gesture towards the next turn. The only thing i could make of this as I notice other fans making the same gesture, was that they believed that it opened up some kind of warping wormhole that would automatically transport that driver to the number 1 position on the track. Only it never seemed to work because all the fans of competing drivers would attempt to open the same wormhole therefore negate all womrhole attempts. This is merely speculation, i don’t pretend to have the same grasp of theoretical physics that the Beast bearer must.
The final thing I noticed, and this pertains to disclaimer 1, was that, again speculating, these people must have believed that their driver would be able to see them wave and hear them cheer while the wormhole was opened. If you have ever been to a race you would understand. For those who haven’t let me just say that watching these cars run at almost 200mph past you gives you a whole new perspective on ‘faster than the blink of an eye’. I actually blinked once and noted three cars had passed.
On a side note, as the race, and natural lites, continued for the above mentioned guy, I noticed his gestures graduated into an odd sort of bow, and later add a bit of flourish with his hands…think spirit fingers.
Anyway, I had a great time and definately want to go back again someday…as soon as my hearing rejoins me perhaps. I now relinquish control back to your favorite blogger. Sorry about the length….and content. I just had to share.
